What loss Should we grieve for?

Dear Vikash Dada,

Didn’t you break your promise?

You said, “I will come to Nepal to meet you”, but I will never find you again in this life. Someone who used to text and motivate me everyday, at a point of time, from today will never text me again. The gap we had of our talks in between, I felt you were busy in your own works. A short phone call few months back, you motivated me for my course.

That time, when your mom, dad and brother came to Nepal, I was disheartened thinking how can you not come here at Kathmandu. Later, I got to know you had your plans after certain interval. Someone who would virtually protect me from bullies, help me get out of a breakup, compliment, motivate to not give up, talk about life, today gave up on his own life?

Did you get your peace dada? But what about the people you left behind with all those heavy hearts and incomplete memories. I wish, there would have been someone you would have talked to. If you could have found the safe space to tackle the situation in a different way. If’s, dada these if’s will remain as just if’s forever.

Every time mamu and family talked about your family visiting Nepal, I used to get silently excited about meeting you. Today, when I heard you are no more, if it was just a night mare. I don’t want sympathy from anyone. Your family needs support. What hampered you so much, that you decided to leave? There were people who loved you, your parents, your siblings, everyone would have been there, if you would have just shared. There is a solution to everything. What was the guilt that compelled you?

May your soul rest in peace. Some days, the stars might shine bright and we may meet in different forms.

Dada,

Where ever you are, hope you are in peace.