The Noise : Inside Outside
Today, the streets were crazy. On my way to office, I was at the speed of 40 in my scooty which is very rare (my normal speed is 25–30), due to the unconscious jaams on roads. I had to reach my client on time. While returning back home, it was the same traffic. Today, there are so many marriage events in Nepal, since 6th and 7th for the month of Baisakh are marked the prime days for Baisakh 2081. The crowds, the noises and the disturbed roads all the way, I came to one of my usual cafe.
The streets are noisy, crowdy, it’s busy. But, inside the cafe it’s so calming. I can see the running vehicles. The environment here is very soothing, I can stay and work for hours every time I come here.
Something just clicked my mind. The game of noise, it is the same with human emotions. No matter how much noisy the environment you are in, if we don’t let the noise inside of us it’s a calming feeling. Like the cafe, which restricts the outside noise with it’s certain mechanisms, our relationship with ourselves should be strong enough to not let the noise in. The calmness resides in may be doing things that makes you happy, that highlights your inner peace, understanding yourselves better and being strong enough to not let your own company feel scary or lonely.
The first time, I decided to go on a cafe alone — which I was not even sure about, but my sister challenged me that day, haha. I felt so scared and I was literally shivering the whole time. I just rushed back home. These days I love going to cafes alone, I love discovering new places alone, I wanna try going to a movie alone – but I am not so of a movie person, so I might try a different thing too.
Still trying to be a bit close to myselves every other day. Trying to know my weak points and work on them a bit everyday. I am still kinda weak when it comes to handling my emotions, still take things personally, still get affected from departures, still feel sad when death news strike, still feel needy at times. Thanks to all the people who have chosen to be with me in different forms and shaping me either by pampering or by being rational and honest. Whoever is struggling to be more close to themselves and choose to live everyother day, despite of the challenges going through, kudos and hugs to you all. I am struggling on my own shoes and so is any other person in their own shoes. Everyone is going through something that is in a way tough for them to handle.
The noise inside and outside is so impactful. Working on it, with a step everyother day. Power to all my people reading.
It’s almost dark outside now, and I need to return back to home. Everytime I visit this cafe, I feel so relaxed for some point of time. You know what I even think of, it’s weird. Somedays I will manifest talking to my close person about how it felt being here after office, exploring places alone, working in a place where people come to chill with families and laugh on it. These days, I just come here open my laptop and work or write.
Take care guys!
Lots of love – Prasuma☘️
