Hey, wass up? How you doin? Loll!
These formalities were never found in our conversations. Our convo was a mixed bag of mainly fights, taunts and yeas sometimes love too. Indeed, our first conversation also didn’t start with a formal greet.
We were different, but somehow existed our similarities. We belonged to the same institution but we never spoke. We were a kind of virtual friends, a kind of virtual people who only existed virtually for each other. We definitely would see each other every day, but we never even had a glance at each other. We were like, we never knew each other in real. And like the best of buddies virtually, like in the internet chatting and all that.
Hello, I am Aashifa. I was and am a kind of girl who never believed in unseen love. And love by chatting was too much to believe on. But, I was addicted. I would never want to stop chatting with him, the whole night, without caring for the schedules next day. We met by chance, not by fate. I always had an insane thought, that guys are all same. Simply, emotionless and players. The time I spent with him, I literally found that he was different. Somehow, he made me realize that I had a wrong mentality for boys.
Days went on, we used to chat every day, like the recently met bff after years. The interesting thing was we till then never spoke in real. Like great actors though. Well we parted from our institution, without speaking a word to each other. Sometimes, I used to feel like, is this guy a fake. The one, who thinks more about what others say, is fearful and emotionless. The day, I used to think I must stop to talk, my heart would deny. I don’t know why, but I had a faith that he is gonna be by my side, no matter what.
I won’t say, I was in love, but I was about to flow and sink in love. Many months did pass away, we used to part for months and as we get in a casual conversation, love was in the air then. To every of my fake resolution, that he won’t break my trust no matter what, went wrong when he finally gave a cut off. One day, he suddenly changed, that decent guy turned to be a rebellious person, I never thought him to be. To my blind trust, to my unworthy virtual love, I was guilty on myself. I was angry with my heart for never following my mind, because my mind gave me warnings many times. He separated me from his social media accounts where we were only connected in.
I won’t blame anyone for this, because it was a bitter experience, which gave me instant happiness and hope for sometimes, that fade away. The girl who never believed in virtual love was starting to believe. I was getting faith on love stories, hah! From that day, I never believed in love. The virtual ones, I just don’t consider them to be a part of love. A person can never feel anyone’s emotions, through certain inexpressive words. I always feel happy on my selves that god saved me before I could sink in love so deep. It would have been hard to take my selves out. But, those days I was just flowing in love with a life saver and yeas, I was easily out of the trap.
Today, people say me emotionless but, the times I went through were hard, it has pinched my emotions, broke my trust and made me against love. Oh, pity on me god! But I can’t believe in the cheesy words of people again. People say, a bad experience cannot change our whole conceptions, indeed my past experiences somehow hinders me from again believing that love even exists. Before getting a soft corner for any person, I just get a threaten call from my conscious mind and I trap my selves in a secured cage far from all these unworthy feeds where I do not wanna exist.
I am sorry, if I am spreading a bad concept about love to anyone, it’s good to be in love but, don’t sink in love! You’re insanely lucky, to have found love. Because if love drowns you, it’s hard to get out of it. So, peps, go on smart! Life’s long and many options on the way. As you revolve around, you find countless people who love you, infinitely more than the single person. So, live life and never panic, cause every problem has a solution, the only thing that matters is the game of time.
Good time peps, keep spreading love!